We are predisposed to fear when an animal is running towards us and we probably are predisposed towards adultery," she said.Īnother couple who attended the Behind Closed Doors event was Cassie and Mike from Bristol, R.I. Helen Fischer, an anthropologist who has studied sex and adultery for years, said she has lived in 42 countries and there is "not a culture in the world that is not adulterous." Behind Closed Doors also has a website,, that serves as a social network for members to meet each other online.īut there is a reason why the Bible includes a commandment against coveting thy neighbor's wife - we might be biologically hard-wired to have several sexual partners. "Usually people get into swinging between 35 and 50+ but we've seen people who are now more comfortable with being online and having kind of a more sex-positive attitude towards things that want to explore swinging at a younger age."Īnother website,, lists 14 million people in 22 countries who are looking to have extra-marital hook-ups. "This is a new generation of swingers," Hunt said. Ryan Hunt, the community manager for the website, said the majority of the traffic to the site is coming from women. Younger generations are marrying later, and come to the marriage with habits acquired over years of dating - among them, sleeping with other partners after the initial attraction wears thin.Īnd women aren't just setting the rules, they are driving the explosive growth of the swinger culture on the Internet.įive years ago,, a website that helps swinging couples connect with other couples for a monthly fee, had 5.4 million swinger subscribers worldwide, and now the company said they have more than 10 million. Swingers are part of a change that researchers have noted in younger couples' attitudes toward infidelity in recent years. "Think about traditional relationships and how much cheating and lying and deceiving there is how much more disrespectful is it when you do it behind your partner's back," she said. Janel said swinging works for her and Stevens because it's something they can do together. We flirt, we hug, we kiss, but there's nothing much further than that." "So we do not engage in penetration," she said. When they attended Behind Closed Doors' party, they engaged in so-called "soft swapping." She manages properties and Stevens is a disc jockey. Janel and Stevens of Edgewater, N.J., are both in their 30s and have been together for nearly two years. "If you're not a good-looking person, it's probably not the right party for you." "People that are of a certain degree of attractiveness are probably looking to interact and swap partners with other people that are a certain degree of attractiveness so they are a good-looking person," said Nicole Cray, a self-described swing school instructor for Behind Closed Doors. They said their relationships are more spicy, more honest and more secure because they swap partners. Yet every swinger "Nightline" spoke with said they have a cure for that. One study conducted by the University of Washington Center for the Study of Health and Risk Behaviors showed that in the last two decades, the number of unfaithful wives under the age of 30 increased by 20 percent and number of unfaithful husbands under 30 increased by 45 percent. National surveys suggest as many as 60 percent of marriages involve cheating. "The kissing is more intimate so we like to keep that for us." "Sex is more of a primal, more of an urge-based," Michael said. Michael, a 28-year-old construction worker, and Sara, 24, who works in a doctor's office, have been in a committed relationship for more than a year but they do "full swaps," complete with intercourse, but they refuse to kiss strangers. When we come here it's a physical attraction, not an emotional attraction." "We have pretty amazing sex at home when we're alone. "Our best sex is with each other," said Sara of Eatontown, N.J., who was at the party with her boyfriend Michael. The couples said they don't find anything wrong with monogamy, but they were looking for something more exciting and raw. The younger the better, and not everyone makes the cut. Behind Closed Doors selects its members based on attractiveness and age. "Nightline" went inside the top secret world of swingers - as guests, not participants - to a highly provocative masquerade party at a hotel in New York City hosted by a group called Behind Closed Doors.įorget the notion that swingers parties are full of middle-aged folks who are bored stiff by years of marriage. But couples who openly swap partners for a night of passionate sex with strangers, are becoming a growing trend in a sort of new sexual relationship revolution - and those who swing say the rest of us monogamists are missing out. May 21, 2012— - Swingers, like polyester leisure suits, seemed to have their heyday in the '70s.
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